Album Review: Lady Gaga – Born This Way

7 out of 10

When the single “Born This Way” was released, I was pretty repulsed by the obvious connections to Madonna’s “Express Yourself.”  Well, maybe not so much repulsed as surprised that this was the lead single for an album that was supposed to be so freaking groundbreaking.  I mean, Gaga pimped herself more than Kanye West in saying what a cultural revolution she is, and no one is calling her an egotistical asshole.

Alas, I kept my fingers crossed.  “Born This Way” was only one song from an album that would contain 14.  Then “Judas” was released, and I thought it was a joke, “Bad Romance” for the lame.  Then the album art was released, and I thought it was even more of a joke.

Then I got drunk.

Now, “Judas” has over 70 play counts in my iTunes library and I changed the image for when one of my friends calls to a close-up of the hot tranny mess that is Gaga on Born This Way’s album cover.  It’s freaking hilarious and, maybe brilliant? Turns out Lady Gaga sober is a completely different experience from Lady Gaga not sober.

So do you have to be on something to “get” Lady Gaga and her music?  I mean, it definitely helps.  Upon an initial listen of Born This Way, there was nothing particularly gripping about it.  With a majority of the songs, you could replace the lyrics of any chorus with lyrics from “Bad Romance,” “Alejandro,” even songs on the same album like “Judas,” and they work just as well because the oft-talked about  “sledgehammer” beats are the same and even the song structures and melodies mirror one another.

There’s also the whole classic rock, 80s, Depeche Mode, Queen, Whitesnake thing going on with Born This Way, which is new for Gaga, but walks a vey, very fine line of brilliance vs. really cheesy.  Again, upon first listen, I was really tuned off by the sax solos (But it’s the E Street Band’s Clarence Clemons, so it’s totally legit!!!), endless syhths and production qualities.  Have a couple of cocktails, however, and it’s fist pump city.  This is also the reason why “Yoü and I,” the only straight up ballad on the album, works.  The “We Will Rock You” stomp and claps that wraps the song is actually amazing, and I can totally see myself raising my glass of whiskey to Nebraska when I hear this out somewhere.  Listen a little more closely to the melody and the lyrics, and it’s actually kind of sweet.  Ugh, I can’t believe I went there.

Sober or not, there are still a handful of songs that I can never accept on this album, so let’s just get that out of the way.  “Hair” is trash.  “Americano” fell off that fine line into cheeseville like whoa.  “Highway Unicorn (Road 2 Love),” is just, well, read the title.  I really can’t deal with “The Edge of Glory” either.  But that’s just me.

But put on “Marry The Night” while getting ready to go out and you’ll so be like “I’m totally going to marry the night tonight!”  There’s also a brilliant, sweet melody buried under that relentless beat.  “Government Hooker” is deliciously naughty, with Gaga singing, “I could be anything, I could be everything.”  I can only imagine what the video for this song will look like.

Then we get to “Scheiße,” obviously made for the catwalk.  Although it’s one of the songs that falls into the “plug the hook of ‘Bad Romance’ into the chorus and it still works” category, Gaga speaking in nonsense German on top of electronics that sound like a dentist drill doing something really bad to your body is irresistible for some reason.

Those same electronics make an appearance in the dark and wonderful “Heavy Metal Lover.”  As Gaga sings “I want your whiskey mouth all over my blonde south,” (no but really), reverbed claps and churning synth chords really take you there.  Another really great melody is the backbone of the song, and when the beat drops as Gaga’s voice is processed through heavily processed auto-tune, you’re ready for the climax.

And then, there’s also the whole religious, Catholic thing going on throughout Born This Way, which isn’t really anything new (Hi Madonna) but elevates songs like the wonderful “Bloody Mary,” and “Electric Chapel.”  The former is one of the only slower-paced songs in the whole album, which is a nice break from the assault of beats.  In a slow disco groove, Gaga sings “I’ll dance dance dance with my hands hands hands above my head head head like Jesus said.”  Then we hear Gregorian monks singing backup and chanting “Gaga.”  By the time after the bridge when the groove really kicks in complete with 70s disco string flourishes, you’re ready to go to confession.  It’s really quite wonderful.

So, this is music for going out.  All Starbucks locations were playing Born This Way all day yesterday because of some sort of deal inked between the artist and the coffee giant (she is so anti-establishment!), and I didn’t know if I should have ordered a latté or a vodka tonic.

Gaga knows her audience well.  This is exactly the album her fans have wanted.  Yet, even with all the “new” elements in her sound (religious, 70s, 80s, trashy rock), all the songs kind of blend together in one never-ending beat rampage.  I’ll admit it, I’m sure more of these songs will grow on me and I’ll be eating a few of the above words, but I know she has more tricks up her sleeve that don’t involve so much campiness.  She has an amazing voice and is a very strong songwriter.  Time for her to do something truly groundbreaking with those talents.  In the meantime I guess I’ll order another drink and dance.

Key Tracks:

Judas

Government Hooker

Scheibe

Bloody Mary

Heavy Metal Lover

Electric Chapel

You and I